hey...nearly after months I am back writing in my space,my world.
I was just going through the last post written,few months back and the present,everything is so different. The moment I feel all is well,there has to be something which has to go miserably wrong, I tend to commit mistakes but sometimes don't know how to rectify them.
I fear of people misunderstanding me these days and getting me wrong which is eventually happening. The best of people I know people who have stood by me have misunderstood me, people who I care for, have got me wrong, some say its miscommunication,some say its ego,some say I have made a mess out of things. Trying to find solutions for problems and at the end of it I am fed up, it is as if I just want to let go, let go of everything that bothers me, and adopt the attitude of I DON'T CARE, but then I realize that if I behave like that, that's not me.I can't stop caring, how much ever I feel cheated,hurt I just can't stop caring.Confused,Lost,Hurt, Cheated,in the situation of whom to trust and not to trust,with situation of friends fluctuating,I have my mom, with whom I fight the most,disobey the most,but there she stands besides me,though I don't speak about my problems, she knows how much I need her, when she holds me tight with her arms wrapped around me I know everything is going to be fine,her arms around me makes me feel safe and secure be it at the age of 1 or 21, I know nothing in this world is ever going to harm me when she is near, I don't really understand this connection I share with my mom,though I am very close to my dadda, but then I don't know my mom becomes my shield and my strength. People say I have now realize the worth of my mom,but I don't agree, though we have the Love Hate kind of relationship I know that even in my slightest problem my mom would be there and the same goes for me. I always complain that WHY am I like my Mom? but from the past few days the realization sinks in deep
"What's wrong in being like her" by far she must have been the best person in my life apart from my father, they are the one who stood by me in thick & thin, they are the one who made me feel secure & safe with their love even in the worse situations of my life.
